Tuesday, February 28, 2006

And the winner is...

Oscar time. It is my firm belief that all oscar winners for Best Actor/Best Actress can be grouped into six simple categories:

PORTRAYING CHARACTERS WITH A DISABILITY OR DISEASE: This is the sure-fire, number one way to get yourself an Oscar, if you are even the least bit convincing in the role. Winners include Al Pacino (playing a blind man,)Dustin Hoffman (idiot-savant), Daniel Day-Lewis (Cerebral Palsy), Geoffrey Rush (Autistic), Nicholas Cage (addict) Tom Hanks (AIDS), Tom Hanks (retarded), Cliff Robertson (retarded), Jon Voight (paraplegic)Holly Hunter (mute), and Marlie Matlin (deaf). I understand that Matlin actually is deaf, but she did play a deaf character nonetheless.

PORTRAYING A PSYCHOTIC: Closely related to the disability category. Winners include Kathy Bates, Anthony Hopkins, Jack Nicholson, Jack Nicholson again (As Good as it Gets- not psychotic, but definitely a nut job), Peter Finch, Charlize Theron, Vivien Leigh (Teetering on psychotic in "Streetcar Named Desire")

PORTRAYING A REAL LIFE PERSON- Jamie Foxx, Julia Roberts, Jodie Foster, Susan Sarandon, Ben Kingsley, F. Murray Abraham, Hillary Swank, Robert DeNiro, George C. Scott, Nicole Kidman, Sissy Spacek, Gary Cooper, James Cagney, Anne Bancroft, Barbara Streisand

PLAYING A CHARACTER THAT GOES THROUGH A LIFE-CHANGING EVENT AND MUST NOW RE-DISCOVER HIM/HERSELF: Dustin Hoffman (wife leaves him, connects with his son) Meryl Streep (Sophie's Choice) Halle Berry (Husband is executed, son dies) Russel Crowe (wife and son murdered), Robert Duvall (wife dies), Jane Fonda (husband paralyzed)

PLAYING A BADASS/NOT-SO-INNOCENT PERSON- Denzel Washington (corrupt cop,)Gene Hackman (narcotics detective), Jeremy Irons (Klaus von Bulow), Michael Douglas (scoundrel), William Holden

BE OLD AND NEVER HAVE WON BEFORE- Geraldine Page, Paul Newman, Jessica Tandy, Don Ameche (supporting), Jack Pallance (supporting), Henry Fonda, John Wayne

I realize not all winners can fit neatly in these categories, but I think it's some good advice for actors who want to hear their name read off that envelope. Take roles that fit into these six categories, and your day will come!

13 Comments:

At 7:04 AM, Blogger Cajun Tiger said...

You did forget the category that will win this year. Play a role that depicts a lifestyle that an overwhelming majority of Americans disagree with and spits in the face of Christian principles. Or maybe that is the category to win the most oscars for the night.

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger The leftist southpaw said...

Christian principles like love, tolerance, understanding, compassion, and grace?

If you're looking for the Christian principles of Pat Robertson, you're on the wrong blog. The Christian principles of Jesus the Christ, however, are welcome- as are the principles of Buddah, Moses, Abraham, Elijah, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and Mother Teresa.

CT, you are welcome to share with me any numbers or statistics that illustrate an "overwhelmeing majority of Aericans disagree with" a lifestyle of homosexuality. Keep in mind, however, that an "overwhelming majority" of people fought to keep seggregation the law of the land; an "overwhelming majority" supported Joseph McCarthy, and an "Overwhelming majority" elected Richard Nixon in a landslide. The overwhelming majority can often be quite wrong.

The bible does mention homosexuality, that is true. It condems it. Personally, I don't believe a person should read the bible literally, because societites change and cultures change. However, it is still a blueprint for life for many people. I guarantee you this- there are far more mentions in the bible of love, forgiveness, understanding, and tolerance than there are condeming homosexuality.

You are a deeply religous man, which I respect. But any further posts by you that are based solely on hatered, condemnation, and intolerance of others because of their choice of lifestyle will quite possibly be deleted from this blog.

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger Cajun Tiger said...

That's where we do part in that I do take the Bible literally. And it is because of my love and compassion (tolerance for sin is not a Christian principle and grace to forgive sin only comes from God, not man) for those who consider themselves to be homosexuals that I don't condone the lifestyle or attempts that make it appear more "cool" and accepted thus allowing more people to make a choice that will not get them closer to the life God wants them to live.

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger The leftist southpaw said...

Hey, CT, where's your overwhelming majority?

A 2001 Gallup poll reported "Gallup has recorded a gradual increase in adherence to the belief that homosexuality is an acceptable alternative lifestyle. Agreement with this proposition has risen from 38% in 1992 to 52% today."

2003 Gallup news service- Gallup’s recent Values and Beliefs survey shows that a majority of Americans accept the idea that homosexual relations between consenting adults should be legal and that homosexuality is an acceptable way of life. The acceptance of homosexuality as legal is now at the 60% level, up from 52% last year and 43% when Gallup first began asking about it in 1977. The recent survey also finds that almost 9 out of 10 Americans agree that homosexuals should have equal rights in terms of job opportunities, although opinions on allowing homosexual couples to legally form civil unions, giving them some of the legal rights of married couples, are evenly divided.

An AEI study from 2004-
There has been a substantial liberalization in attitudes toward homosexuality. In 1973, 73 percent told National Opinion Research Center interviewers that sexual relations between adults of the same sex were always wrong. In 2002, 53 percent gave that response.
Large majorities say that homosexuals should have equal rights in terms of job opportunities. Fifty-six percent gave that response to Princeton Survey Research Associates interviewers in 1977; 87 percent did in early 2004. Majorities now support hiring homosexuals as members of the clergy and as elementary school teachers, two occupations about which there has been resistance in the past.

Or are you going to tell me that these well respected polling organizations are tools of the left? The liberal media? They are allowed to operate because of our liberal courts? They're defended by the ACLU?

In three weeks I am attending a civil union ceremony for one of my dearest friends. I am incredibly happy for her, and she is one of the kindest, most supportive people you will ever meet. Homosexuality, whether it be a choice or biological, is part of this world. So you can go on hating what will never go away, or you can accept that not everyone shares your beliefs and move on.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger The leftist southpaw said...

You take the bible literally. Good for you.

Do you keep Kosher?

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Cajun Tiger said...

Well first off the Old Testament laws of kosher and the sacrifices were for the Jewish people before Christ came. When Christ came He was the fulfillment of the Old Testament's need for such laws and sacrifices as He was the perfect sacrifice without sin, so Christians are no longer required to follow those laws that were meant for kosher living and atoning for sin.

Second, you will never find anywhere that I have ever said I hate someone who is homosexual. As a Christian, I believe that anyone who has not repented of their sin (which according to the Bible, homosexuality is sin), and given their life to Christ then they won't go to Heaven. If that is true then anything that encourages or condones homosexuality in my opinion is only making it harder for people to turn from that sin and thus making it harder for them to choose Christ and spend eternity in Heaven.

Third while I don't know the parameters of those polls and anyone can write a poll in such a way to make it come out like they want it, however for the sake of this discussion, I'll assume they are accurate. How come then if that is what people believe, whenever there is a vote by the people on the issue, it is voted down by over 70% every time, even in the liberal state of California? My theory would be that people will say one thing to a pollster being their is no consequence to answering a poll, but when it comes down to codifying something into law, there true beliefs rise up.

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger The leftist southpaw said...

Because voter turnout in this country is pathetic. People will answer a phone when a pollster calls, but they won't get off their fat asses and drive to a polling place.

It's nice that you would like to see others go to heaven, but isn't what they do with their time here on Earth their choice? And if such is the case, why are you so bothered by what others do, so long as you live your life according to your own beliefs?

Well, have fun in heaven when you get there. Guess you won't be seeing me there, as I have not given my life to Christ. I've committed my life to helping others in need and acts of kindness towards the less fortunate, and to protecting and caring for my loved ones, but I guess in your belief system that doesn't get my ticket punched.

But that's o.k. I've already been to Wrigley Field. And I've been to St. Andrew's. Heaven can't be much better than those two places, so I'm content.

 
At 11:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you honestly think CT that God is not an accepting all loving God? That maybe just maybe He has made exceptions for those who live a lifestyle that causes no harm to others. I would like to believe that He would. I would like to believe He has changed with the times and maybe the Bible needs to be updated. Besides it being condemed in the Bible give me one real good honest reason from your heart that a homosexual will not make it to heaven?

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger Cajun Tiger said...

Anon...God change? The bible updated? Sorry, but it doesn't work that way according to what I believe and read. So, there is no other reason for a homosexual who doesn't accept Christ and repent to go to heaven, and that's not just for homosexuals, that includes everyone.

Southpaw...I'm glad you do all those very worthwile things, but unfortunately that won't "get your ticket punched." There is but one way to heaven according to the Bible. If you don't choose that way then that is your choice. But as a Christian, I would rather you did and while I can't make that decision for you, it is my job to let you know that a decision needs to made and inform you of the choices, of which there is only two. If you choose not to believe, you can not say at the gates of heaven that you were never given the choice. While we obviously disagree almost completely on issues, my heart and prayer is always that everyone I know and even those I don't makes a decision to choose Christ and spend eternity in Heaven.

 
At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

CT you still didn't answer my question? I'd like to still believe in Santa Claus the way he wasn't written, yet I'm sure he'd be alot different if his story was written now.

 
At 5:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, I meant was written, not "wasn't written"

 
At 5:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's nice to believe in something, because it fills the void in us all and keeps us feeling safe. I believe that God does have his "rules" for entering heaven, so as not to just let anyone in, yet I do agree that for someone whose way of life creates no harm in others' lives deserves every bit of heaven just the same. We definitely don't raise our kids the way our parents did, we don't live our lives the way our parents did, and we certainly have changed over time. I don't mean make exceptions for all who sin (do harm to others), I just mean that for someone who may have sexual relations with the same sex not be compared to a serial killer.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger Cajun Tiger said...

Anon...well God is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. He never changes which is very comforting as you always know where He stands on an issue.

It would be nice if there were contigency plans for those who "did no harm", but unfortunately there isn't. There is but one way to Heaven and that is by accepting Christ as your Savior and repenting of your sins.

 

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