Stop it. All of you morons who are stuck in 1985. You know who you are, the person at the baseball game that does not know what a change up is, the person at the football game who doesn't know what a strong safety is. The person who spends $40 on a ticket, and $60 on beer.
STOP DOING THE WAVE!
Everything that was wrong with sports in the 1970s and 1980s is pretty much gone. Domes and cookie-cutter stadiums? Gone, in favor of more true ballparks. Astroturf? Gone, in favor of synthetic grass- not as ugly, not as dangerous.
The Wave? not as prevalent as it used to be, but far from extinct. It seems pretty much extinct at football games, but for some reason, in about the sixth inning (right before last call, so everyone is nice and loaded...) at many ballparks, you see those late 20- mid 30 somethings trying to start the wave.
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT! WATCH THE GAME! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY, JUST WATCH THE GAME!!!
I hate to sound elitist (oh, who am I kidding? I love to sound elitist!), but you don't see this Wrigley Field. From an ESPN2 Column: "the usher ordered a bachelorette party to stop attempting The Wave. He said, 'We don't do the wave at Wrigley Field.'"
Anaheim? A rally monkey and those god-awful thunder stix, but no wave.
I have been to over a hundred baseball games. Over thirty pro football games. Over 50 hockey games. I have witnessed teams win championships, and I have watched teams play at a level so horrid it would make people with weak stomachs turn away in horror. In short, I have earned the right to tell you that you are being a MORON if you take part in doing a wave. And if you are the person starting the wave, you'd better hope your sitting twenty sections and two levels away from me.
This is 2005. Live in the now. Stop doing the wave.
And while you're at it, give the "YMCA" a rest too!
posted by The leftist southpaw @ 1:13 PM
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